The New York Follow Up Post and San Jose Meditation

Apologies for not posting last week. After the 4-0 drubbing at the hands of LA, I wasn't sure I had the stomach to put something together in anticipation of the New York match. I actually didn't watch the New York match live as I was participating in that most patriotic of pastimes, beer pong.

On a side note, I spent a solid five minutes trying to figure out how to spell "pastime." Honestly, which of you can honestly say that you've seen the word in print? Or that you actually know the correct way to spell it? I first tried "pasttime," but it looks and feels wrong. So I tried "passtime," and again it feels wrong. Then I tried "passedtime," and it felt more wrong than a voluntary prostate exam. I considered making two words, but then went to the most reliable of sources, Wiktionary. And it says to spell it this way. Consider it your spelling lesson for the year.

On another side note, my team finished 2nd in the beer pong tournament. We were three cups away from winning $200. So unfortunate. I'm actually much better at beer pong than I thought I was. I think I developed the necessary ball touch in the last few years. Probably from spending so much time alone on my couch watching anime.

Anyway, after watching the New York game on tape, I don't know that I have anything positive or negative to say. I thought the effort was there. We created some chances, but not many. We allowed very few chances. And it took some magic for us to get the goal and the three points. Maybe it was karma, as we've lost so many points late in games this year. Maybe it's because there is so much parity in MLS that anybody can beat anybody at any time. Honestly, I don't care. I'll take three points anyway we can get them.

This weekend's game is against San Jose. Talk about not terrible anymore. San Jose finished last year with 30 points. Only 7 wins all year. In only 7 games this year, San Jose has 4 wins. They should be favored to win this game. But there are no redeeming qualities to San Jose. First, I believe Nate was born in or around San Jose. Strike 1. Second, the distribution of non-married single non-Hispanic whites over the age of 25 is shocking. 59% of those folks are men. That's a 60:40 male:female split in San Jose. All those computer programmers flocking to their Star Trek conventions just can't seem to find a mate. Strike 2 because they probably spent more money on their Star Trek uniforms than on a nice suit. And they have a sculpture that looks like a giant turd. And as California is prone to do, they dedicated it to a Mexican, Cesar Chavez. To be honest, this is probably not a strike in my book. But since naming a poo-shaped sculpture after a Mexican is only really funny to me, I guess I'll call this Strike 3.

With those three strikes and no positive factors to consider, we should easily destroy San Jose. Seattle Sounders 3 - Poop Sculptures 0.