April 2, 2010

Red Bulls Preview

"No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet."


Danny Donahue - Role Models


"She let me keep it after I fucked her."


Wheeler - Role Models


Did you know that after last week's game, the organization that reviews performances by referees determined that our refs made a bad off-sides call, and robbed Nyassi of a goal? Do you know what else they robbed us of? Free haircuts. Yes. 3 goals = free haircuts. That ref owes me one haircut. And a rinse, because I don't want to go home and shower afterwards. Do your job. Ass.


I don't know what to make of NYRB. They looked decent in their opener beating Chicago 1-0, but it's hard to gauge what they will really be like from that one game. First game in a new stadium, under a new coach, and on a grass surface that is a 6522% improvement over the Meadowlands turf where they used to play. So was their performance the result of a renewed sense of optimism? Or was it the result of an improved squad?


Who really knows. Here's what I do know. I love donuts. I love bacon. I love guacamole. And NYRB won't be as easy to beat as they were in last year's opener, when SSFC embarrassed NYRB 3-0 without the services of Freddie Ljungberg. Oh, and NYRB has a new goalie - they no longer have Danny "Pizza Face" Cepero in the net.


Two big differences for NYRB. First, they have a new coach who seems to actually know how to coach. That alone should make them more difficult to score on. Second, they have a new player from Estonia who seems to be a good player - Joel Lindpere. That name doesn't seem very Estonian to me - that name sounds Swiss to me. Did you know that in 2000, the country of Luxembourg drank more liters of beer per person than any other country in the world? Amazing.


Back to the point. I don't really know how this game is going to play out. But if Freddie Ljungberg can play, I think SSFC will control possession. Whether they generate and finish scoring chances is the big question. 


I am pessimistic about most things in my life, but not about the Sounders. So I'll go with a scoreline of 2-1, with Zakuani scoring the second goal.


Now on to important matters. Saturday's tailgate looks to be interesting. Weather looks terrible. We'll be under the loud-as-hell viaduct again, but maybe we'll actually stay dry that way. I can't wait until we actually get to tailgate in the sunshine.

4 comments:

  1. Luis, I just thought of a dream breakfast for you. A powdered donut with a bacon guac filling. Maybe cristin can make it for you instead of scones.

    NY is not a good team, the problem is they don't know that yet. We embarrased them last year and they will be looking for revenge. NY will be riding high after their recent win, new coach, and new stadium.

    While the Sounders will get NY's best performance, I still give Sounders the edge. It comes down to three simple goals- keep possession, don't let Angel get the ball, and finish our chances.

    Prediction, Sounders win 2-0

    ReplyDelete
  2. A donut with bacon bits is something I've wanted for a long time. I think guacamole ruins it. But I'd probably be willing to dip my bacon in guacamole.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love being a Sounders pessimist. It makes it so much better when they surprise me...

    Ljundberg sits, Sounders lose 3-1. Montero scores, but the SSFC can't hold the ball without Ljundberg on the field. Lead highlight on SportsCenter is Zakuani putting his head down and dribbling out of the stadium through the tunnel, ala Bo Jackson. His head was down, so he didn't realize that 1) he had dribbled out of play, and 2) that everyone had left because the game ended during the three minutes he held the ball trying to decide what to do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I dipped my bacon in DomiNate's mom's guacamole last night.

    ReplyDelete