Kansas City Wizards Preview

"I was trying to smile but it was the smile of desolution. Inside, I felt only the pity and the terror and the waste of it all. Everyone I had ever loved, and who ever loved me - all gone... all gone down..."
                Sam Neill as Merlin in "Merlin" - an Epic 2-Part Made for TV Movie from 1998

This Saturday's game brings Kansas City to Seattle to face our beloved Sounders. Last year, this game was a laugher. Seattle was poised to win by 2 or 3 goals. Let's face it. Any team that depends on Josh Wolff (the second F is silent) to score its goals is doomed to fail. Then Kasey Keller got a red card, and Seattle played 65 minutes with 10 men, and ended up losing on a great shot by Davy Arnoud. Talk about bummers.


We play KC the same time this year as last year, on Matchday 4, and we get them at home again. But this time around, KC rolls into Seattle having won their first 2 games, scoring 5 goals, and conceding none. KC is arguably on a hot streak. Both those victories came at home, and 4 of those goals came against DC United, who couldn't score on Aurora right now. So what should we expect from KC?

Honestly? Who the hell knows. It looks like KC has several new faces, and apparently is playing a more attacking brand of soccer. But teams that come to Qwest tend to pack it in and look for counter-attacking opportunities. Maybe KC's new Bollywood sensation Sunil Chhetri will play significant minutes and show why everybody on the sub-continent is excited about his MLS regular season debut.


Ultimately, I hope these Wizards feel a lot like The Wizard, Merlin, when the game is over. I want them to feel like everybody they've ever known and loved is gone. I want Sounders to take the game by the scrote from the start and put in a few goals in the first half. That way, the second half can be a party in the stands. I predict a 2-0 Sounder victory, with both goals coming in the 1st half. And let's be honest, you're never going to see me predict a Sounder loss on here.

In other news. B Els is having a baby shower on Saturday evening after the game. As of this moment, 41 people have RSVP'd. 41 people! If he took his baby shower to an FC Dallas game, it would instantly double attendance! If he went to a Chivas home game, they would thank him for the patronage with a pinata and a few chili peppers to induce labor! But I digress. Let's all take a moment to congratulate B Els for his impending fatherhood, and make sure he knows that no matter what happens, he can always bring his infant child to the tailgate if he can't find a babysitter. We love you B!