CHUCKIE: Casey's bouncin' at a bar up at Harvard. We should go there sometime.
WILL: What are we gonna do up there?
CHUCKIE: I don't know, we'll f**k up some smaht kids. You'd prob'ly fit right in.
And so begins the career of one Michael Fucito.
Maybe for the first time in his life, Michael Fucito gets to take all those equations on the walls of the bars at Harvard and channel them into a glorious moment. No longer can the kids from Southie try to mess with him. Even Will Hunting can’t match the big balls on Michael Fucito.
After 90 minutes of rock solid defense, especially from the back four, the Sounders faced the ultimate disappointment. The ultimate tease. The ultimate side hug. A potential 0-0 tie.
Steve Zakuani failed to do much of anything. Apparently actually running simply tires him out, so he stops after about 20 minutes or so. Meanwhile underwear model Freddie Ljunberg decided to play like garbage as he repeatedly trapped like a Trapper Keeper without Velcro. Which means there wasn’t much trapping my friends.
The best chance of the match inevitably was called back by a horrific referee (despite the accuracy of this particular call) for cheating (offsides). I find that if you don’t cheat, you tend to not get called for it. Just a thought.
Oh you know what? I don’t miss Nate Jaqua. Just wanted you to know that I don’t miss giant players who can’t head the ball and have no ability at their feet in spite of our inability to score last game. He can live on an island with Josh Wolff for the rest of his life for all I care.
Which leads me to Josh Wolff.
I don’t really have a reason to hate him per se. Yet I somehow do actually despise him. It could be the fact that when he was a hot young striker, this Spanish announcer would say, “Josh WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLFFFFFFFF” in hilarious fashion. Somehow that stuck with me and then Josh Wolff didn’t live up to my early expectations. So I learned to hate him. I tried to mock him with a National Team jersey as in he would never see it again, but I just couldn’t be heard over the Sounder faithful. It was just too difficult. Hey, I am just like Steve Zakuani. Awesome.
And all this occurred during the Sounder 0-0 staring contest through 90 minutes.
Until….
WILL: What are we gonna do up there?
CHUCKIE: I don't know, we'll f**k up some smaht kids. You'd prob'ly fit right in.
And so begins the career of one Michael Fucito.
Maybe for the first time in his life, Michael Fucito gets to take all those equations on the walls of the bars at Harvard and channel them into a glorious moment. No longer can the kids from Southie try to mess with him. Even Will Hunting can’t match the big balls on Michael Fucito.
After 90 minutes of rock solid defense, especially from the back four, the Sounders faced the ultimate disappointment. The ultimate tease. The ultimate side hug. A potential 0-0 tie.
Steve Zakuani failed to do much of anything. Apparently actually running simply tires him out, so he stops after about 20 minutes or so. Meanwhile underwear model Freddie Ljunberg decided to play like garbage as he repeatedly trapped like a Trapper Keeper without Velcro. Which means there wasn’t much trapping my friends.
The best chance of the match inevitably was called back by a horrific referee (despite the accuracy of this particular call) for cheating (offsides). I find that if you don’t cheat, you tend to not get called for it. Just a thought.
Oh you know what? I don’t miss Nate Jaqua. Just wanted you to know that I don’t miss giant players who can’t head the ball and have no ability at their feet in spite of our inability to score last game. He can live on an island with Josh Wolff for the rest of his life for all I care.
Which leads me to Josh Wolff.
I don’t really have a reason to hate him per se. Yet I somehow do actually despise him. It could be the fact that when he was a hot young striker, this Spanish announcer would say, “Josh WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLFFFFFFFF” in hilarious fashion. Somehow that stuck with me and then Josh Wolff didn’t live up to my early expectations. So I learned to hate him. I tried to mock him with a National Team jersey as in he would never see it again, but I just couldn’t be heard over the Sounder faithful. It was just too difficult. Hey, I am just like Steve Zakuani. Awesome.
And all this occurred during the Sounder 0-0 staring contest through 90 minutes.
Until….
Henry Lipkin: Now, no more shenanigans, no more tomfoolery, no more ballyhoo.
Michael Fucito! WTF.
http://www.mlssoccer.com/content/fucito-scores-stoppage-time-winner-seattle
I hate Josh Wolff too. And until I saw him play in person, I didn't realize how funny he walked. He walks like a duck. Absurd.
ReplyDeleteExcellent point about the side hug. Those are never pleasant.
Josh Wolff is the 'real boy' version of Pinnocio.
ReplyDeleteSide hugs are always pleasant if it means avoiding the front hug of the ug.
Zakuani should play forward. It's his natural position and he wouldn't have to run as much.
Montero is the slowest striker in the league.
Jaqua would have dumb lucked us a goal or two by now. One off the face, another off a flying knee.