Raise your hands (or comment) if you read this blog!

Luis being Luis recently so much as fired me from posting for Sounder Waves. Why would he do such a thing, you ask!? Well I'll tell ya. I dared mention that no one actually reads this thing, and it is merely a public platform for him to ramble on for way to many paragraphs about tactics that not even the players understand, while I am trying to provide something a little less ANALytical, and a little more fun.

It is an epic power struggle that stems back to the age of 5, when Luis violated my turf by moving in across the street from me. He will tell you I stole his toys. I will tell you he stole my baseball cards, in High School. He will tell you I broke his arm, I will tell you he broke his own stupid arm by jumping in to me. He went with prep, purple, and liverpool. I went Blanchet, COUGS, and Chelsea. He did England, I did France, you get the idea.

So I have one request before Luis deletes my posting powers. If you read and don't comment, get your comment on! If you get your comment on, get your comment on again!

Next up- New Jersey Red Balls

Last year, Sounders FC opened up the season with a 3-0 win over the MLS Cup runner's up. Two goals from Montero and a third from Brad Evans got us off to a great start. This time around, New York is getting a lot of hype because of their new stadium and coach. Don't believe the hype! They are still crap, and nothing but a win will do this Saturday.

So here is the question- What is the lamest thing about the Red Bulls franchise? Is it the fact that their entire name/identity is tied to an energy drink that gives you a worse hang over than alcohol? Maybe you think its a bit pozerous to claim New York when they are from New Jersey? Maybe you are pissed that they only averaged 12,000 fans last year?

Also- Please include any ridiculously rude or catchy insults for their players!

Share your thoughts below...

It's Pat.... Noonan!

"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make $14 the hard way?"
                Al Czervik - Caddyshack

How many obvious jokes can we make with this guy's name? I'll limit myself to a Caddyshack quote, but not one involving Danny Noonan.

So Pat Noonan is on trial with the Sounders. Noonan was formerly with the Columbus Crew, and prior to that he was a long-time contributor with the New England Revolution. No word yet on whether or not he's going to get signed to the roster, so for now all we can do is speculate. But I think there are two points to be made from him even being in camp. And I'll make them together.

A guy like Pat Noonan gets a trial with Seattle because Sigi is not entirely comfortable with the options he currently has at outside midfield and forward. That means that Jaqua is probably out indefinitely (they are not sure what's wrong with his groin or how to make it better - I think the problem is that he has a vagina instead of a penis), and that Sigi doesn't think that guys like Estrada, Chewy, Nyassi and Souter are capable of being everyday players.

I do not think that Chewy or Nyassi are everyday players. Nyassi is the posterchild for ADHD, hyperactive hypoglycemic. He can't sit still, and he can't stop running everywhere at full speed. Guys like that often find themselves out of position. Chewy just can't cut it for 70 minutes. He needs to come in when everybody else is tired, and his poor first touch won't get punished the way it does when everybody else's legs are as fresh as his.

Souter, well, we haven't seen much of him other than the Portland friendly. I wasn't impressed. That leaves Estrada, the top draft pick. If we're looking at Noonan, then apparently Estrada hasn't made Sigi comfortable enough to start him.

Miguel Montano is a bit of a wild card here, but I don't think he's going to play much until the SSFC starts competing in CONCACAF Champions League play later this summer.

I think Noonan would be a good signing. He is a solid all-around player who can score and do the dirty work. He's not going to solve our scoring problems. But he should be able to stabilize the right midfield position and make the job his. Hopefully, we won't really need him to play up front, but he can do that also. Overall, this move makes a lot of sense because it adds depth at the two places we need it. I think Sigi will sign him, and at the end of the year we'll consider his addition a smart one.

2-0 Means (Le) Toux Bad for Philly

I wasn't exactly right about the scoreline, but I would have been had Chewy finished his sitter in the first half. 2-0 is just alright with me, but 4-0 would have been even more just alright than Jesus. I'm not interested in a deep philosophical breakdown of the game, because Philly is awful and the conditions weren't ideal. But here are my thoughts:

1. We may still struggle to score goals until Kufo arrives
2. The defense still looks solid
3. Zakuani may be ready to live up to the hype
4. This team can get a lot better going forward

So we blew some opportunities. Happened last year, happened this year. At least we got enough to take three points. So I'm not going to sweat the poor finishing just yet. But it's on my radar.

The D - good performance. But they weren't really tested beyond the first 10 minutes of the game. Philly showed some decent ball control early, and it culminated in a shot on goal by Orozco, but Keller was well positioned and the shot was under enough pressure that it never really was very dangerous. After Sounders got the opening goal, they settled down and controlled the game. Even if they didn't have the ball, the D made sure that Philly's possession never amounted to opportunities on goal.

Zakuani tormented his defenders all night. And he found somebody with his crosses, which is progress for him. I still want to see him make the decision to run at defenders more quickly, so he takes advantage of the space behind them before other defenders move into supporting positions. But I also want a pair of soft leather knee-high boots. We can't have everything we want (I'll settle for a dark green cape, if anybody has one). At my most pessimistic, I can say that Zakuani's defender wasn't very good. But even in this mindset, I must admit that he took advantage of his man. Last year, even when playing against slower defenders, Zakuani often struggled to make an impact on the game. Not the case this time around.

SSFC looked good. This was a workmanlike performance in some pretty bad conditions. They got two goals, they got out with a clean sheet, and the only injuries were the result of Philly's strange knee-to-the-back fetish. They didn't look dominating, and that's fine. It's early in the season. The way SSFC played, there is plenty of room for growth. The passes and touches will get crisper and sharper, and fitness levels will improve. Ultimately, I think we're going to see Seattle be able to play creative attacking soccer this year that results in goals, not just clever interplay 40 yards from net.

The Opener - Philly Union suck balls that are smooth as eggs

"So it begins, the great battle of our time."
              Gandalf - Return of the King

So here we are. Match 1 of Season 2 of SSFC. And our opponent is almost a complete unknown. Who knows what the hell to expect from Philly. A glance at their roster (and reading what others are saying) suggests that Philly will be a hard-working, defensive minded squad. If you're starting guys like Le Toux, I have to believe that's the truth. There are no real scary attacking players on their roster, just a bunch of annoying pests and guys who are really too inconsistent to be much of a legitimate scoring threat.

Which leaves me with only one option - to write an entire post about what I hope to see from the game. To start with, ball control. We struggled with it at times last year. The roster hasn't turned over, and the guys should be better able to link up and play as a team. I want to see us dominate possession against the Union, who are likely to pack it in and hope for a counter attack goal.

I also want to see us score the chances we get. If Montero gets a wide open look in the opening 20 minutes and blows it, I think you're going to hear a lot of moans and groans from the crowd, who will feel like we're picking things up right where they left off last year. If we can get an early goal, then the crowd will go nuts, and I think the Union will have to come out of their shell, making for a much more entertaining game. My guess is we create a few good chances in the opening 20 - I want to see one go in.

Additionally, I do not want to see the defensive flukes that plagued us at times last year. They always seemed to involve Tyrone Marshall. Whether it's whiffing on a clearance, or clearing a ball off a teammate, or not expecting a crazy bounce, SSFC defenders need to make sure that Philly gets no cheap and easy goals. If we can make them earn their goals, I think we handle them easily.

My prediction for the game:
      4-0 Sounders

Make it happen boys.

Crisis Averted- Now it's up to the fans

MLS owners and the players union finally came to terms yesterday, signing a new 5 year collective bargaining agreement. Sounders will kick off this Thursday against Philadelphia at 630pm.

So here is a brief recap of what they were arguing about. Players were looking for a higher league minimum wage, a greater ability to switch from club to club, and guaranteed contracts. Ownership wanted to maintain control over player movement, length of contracts, and a lower overall salary cap.

MLS players wanted the same rights players receive abroad, while the owners (who have lost millions since MLS inception) wanted to be more conservative. Toronto FC and SOUNDERS FC are the only two profitable teams in MLS.

But why were the players and owners put in this position? It all comes down to certain markets not giving their club enough support. I have proposed on various soccer blogs that if a club can not average 15,000 fans this year then they should be relocated.

COLUMBUS CREW- 14,175 might sound pretty close to the mark, but keep in mind they were the returning MLS Champions from 2008. Not good enough.

COLORADO RAPIDS- 13,018. They had a competitive team, a soccer specific stadium (SSS), and are in a major metro area.

NEW YORK RED BULLS- 12,744. Pretty sad for the second biggest market in America. The good news here is they are opening a new SSS this season, which should significantly increase their numbers.

NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION- 12,427 fans a game. Absolutely terrible. Boston is a great sports town, and a lot of fans attend US National Team games. They will never get a SSS until they can boost their fan base.

SAN JOSE- 10,329, yuk. They have been relocated once before (Houston Dynamo), and I would hate to see this team go again. But the truth is, they are holding the league back.

KANSAS CITY WIZARDS- 10,053 fans a game. This one I understand, the only people who cheer for wizards don't have an athletic bone in their body. THey are a money pit to begin with, but allowing them to build a SSS only makes it worse. Give them one more year and relocate them to Montreal.

FC DALLAS- 9,883. This only fuels my hatred for all things Texas (sorry Andy). Dallas has a major metro area, a SSS, a local rivalry, a large latino market, and a team that was one game away from making the playoffs.

CONGRATS to our SOUNDERS averaging 31,203. LA GALAXY with 20,827. TORONTO FC with 20,344.

So what do you think? Is 15,000 fans for each team realistic? Would a different city be more deserving?

Sounders sign Blaise N'Kufo

"Johnny Inkslinger found a dog lying in the street dead
He was shot with a BB gun
He was BB'ed to death
Good news
Good news
Good news
Good news is rock 'n' roll"


             Wesley Willis - Good News is Rock & Roll
      (Pictured at Right - If that's N'Kufo we're all screwed)


I do not believe Wesley Willis knew it at the time, but when he penned these auspicious words several years ago, he was portending the ultimate destruction of MLS by SSFC in 2010.  I only wish I could find the words to effectively convey the magnitude of the signing of Swiss National Team target man Blaise N'Kufo.


Before we move on, let's be clear. It's spelled "N K U F O." Not Nfuko. I've seen that mistake all over the place, and quite frankly I'm tired of lazy journalists taking stabs at the proper spelling of the man's name. If there's one thing a journalist should get right, it's the spelling of a person's name. So I checked it on Wikipedia, and of course, they say his name is spelled differently. What the hell do I know. Who really cares, we all know who we're talking about here. Moving on...


I love this move. People will criticize it because they don't know much about this guy, or because he's old (34). But when you look at what he does well (or I should say when you read about what he does well, because, let's be honest, none of us have ever seen him play), this move makes a lot of sense for Seattle. N'Kufo is a target man. He's 6'2 and strong. He wins headers, he maintains possession, and he scores goals. To me, that sounds like a lot of the stuff we wanted Fredy Montero to do last year. And some of it he did do. He just wasn't very consistent about it. Which is fine, he's 21 years old. We can't expect Montero to be Pele yet. Which is why N'Kufo's size and consistency will make a tremendous impact. The man scored consistently for the last five years in Holland. If he can finish half the chances that Montero wasted last year, he'll end the season with 10 goals.

N'Kufo won't be amazing us with his speed or incredible technical ability. Honestly, I'm fine with that. In MLS, technical ability gets you fouled repeatedly, and it all amounts to nothing more than a lot of bruises unless there's somebody on your team that can take advantage of your skills. And now SSFC has that. Now, when Freddie Ljungberg cuts through the defense with a great pass, or when he creates some space with the ball at his feet and creates a scoring opportunity in the box, N'Kufo AND Montero will be there to finish it. I think we're going to see a marked increase in the number of goals SSFC scores once N'Kufo joins the team in July. Let's just hope they are well position by that point in the season to take advantage of N'Kufo's skills.


And one last thing. With the rumors that Thierry Henry is coming to the league this year after the World Cup (mostly unsubstantiated, but I would not be surprised to see it happen), SSFC had a legitimate risk of losing one of their grumpiest, drunkest, and least rational fans. Our friend Dan would have no choice but to become a fan of whatever team Henry joined, since he's had an uncontrollable crush on the man for some time. Now, with a guy like N'Kufo, Dan should be able to easily transfer his crush to a SSFC player, and thereby guarantee that his allegiance does not stray.


In October of 2010, when SSFC is 8 points clear of the 2nd place team in the Western Conference, we'll look back on this signing and praise the all-knowing SSFC front office. Until then, somebody start emailing Dan pictures of this guy.

Away Games Worth Attending

I just read Grant Wahl's CNN.SI piece on the new Red Bull Stadium in New York. You can find that here. I read the article and it's forcing me to seriously consider if I decide to head out east to watch the Sounders play this year.

One of my biggest regrets about last year was that I did not attend a road game. Perhaps it was for the best as Seattle tended to perform poorly on the road. However, MLS has a number of soccer specific stadiums (SSS, for the uninitiated) that would be fun to see. I'm thinking mostly of The Home Depot Center, where LA and Chivas play. With Scott and Sam and a few other friends living in the LA area, I figured that the trip to SoCal would have been a fun one. But as you can see from the picture, there isn't really anything around the Home Depot Center. It's not located in a major downtown area and it's not near any bars. There appears to be ample room for tailgating, so I can't complain much. But I would like to have the option of hitting up a few bars after the game, especially if Sounders managed to win the game. So while the HDC is a great stadium for soccer, I think some of the peripherals may be lacking.

I've only been impressed by one other SSS and that's Toronto's BMO Field. Unfortunately, Sounders played Toronto in April last year, when I believe, accounting for wind chill, it was -262 degrees during the game. Toronto's stadium and atmosphere seem incredible, and the stadium is located in the downtown area. Toronto is on the map. Throw in the fact that I've never been there, and it's supposedly the home of the best nightlife in Canada - oh, and that we should beat them easily - and I think a trip up north may be in the cards in the coming seasons. I suppose I'll just have to wait and look at the schedules and see when we play at BMO Field during the summer. We play them on April 25th, so I don't think I'll be making the trip this year.

Which leads me to the linked article. Red Bull Arena may have gone to the top of my list for away games. The article does a great job of explaining things, but I'll summarize. It's a grass field, in a part of town with several bars and restaurants, and is (taking into consideration that it's NY) pretty accessible via mass transit. I know people in NY, but I don't think any of them live in the city, and I don't know that any of them want to put me up for three days while I'm in town. The game is May 15th, so perhaps the weather will be nice but not too humid. And unless NYRB makes an incredible turn-around this year after their nearly historic poor season (which is possible - I don't really know anything about their new coach or their new players), we should be able to go to NY and see a Sounders victory. I don't know if they'll fill the stadium with energetic and rabid supporters, but that will leave better seats for me to choose from. The stadium design sounds amazing and very un-MLS in that the club chose to optimize the stadium for soccer and not for other things (like concerts - many MLS SSS have stages at one end to improve their quality as a concert venue).

Hopefully I make some money this year, because the away game at NYRB is one I really want to see this year.